Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Newfound-Homo Headgear

Once again it's been over a week since I've posted. This work thing is really getting in the way of my blogging.


Anywho, there is a serious matter I've been pondering, worrying about, meditating on, discussing, mulling over (and comparing and contrasting in my head in essay form).


This is the first in a series of posts about hats. I have lots of thoughts to share about headwear.




oh wait, nevermind.
That's not a lesbian...



Living on the West Coast, I wore hats for aesthetic appeal.

Living in Newfoundland, I wear hats because my hair/ears/neck and jaw areas not covered by my scarf will die and drop off in the freezing wind if I don't.

On my 5 km forced marches to-and-from work (at 7 am and 8 pm...sucks to be me), I ponder the merits of the various hats in my collection (particularly the one I am wearing at the time).

The perfect hat is hard to come by.

Let's discuss our options (as both lesbians and people with cold heads):

HAT OPTION OF THE DAY: The GIgantic FUrry Bomber-Style ThIngie

First of all, I have one. It was a surprise, I-bought-you-this-for-no-good-reason present from Lisa and I love it.

-It is made from recycled polyester, so all the animals are still alive.

-It is a warm and sturdy and furry piece of head-loving goodness.

-It snaps under the chin, it muffles sound and makes it easy to ignore loud children and unpleasant strangers.

Well suited for snowy trips to the coffee shop. Also stellar for hanging out around the house on days when the furnace blows.

And best of all, this hat DOES. NOT. BLOW. OFF. Important when living in the middle of the Atlantic.

I also don't look at all like a lesbian in this hat, so I would wear this one to church.

Downside...and I learned this the hard way: this hat is not suited for physical activity of any kind. Panic will ensue, because you WILL feel all hot and sweaty and restricted. And arrive at your destination with sweat-soaked, plastered-down limp spaghetti hair.

Yep. Pretty accurate.

COminG Next WeeK... Fantasticle Lesbian Kristmas Speshul!

(and more hats...)

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