Sunday, January 13, 2013

The Scariest Post Yet. or: 10 ways my Girlfriend is like my Mother

I've been told the link on the last post didn't work for anyone that isn't Facebook friends with my sister. This is disappointing, wrong and bad.

First: you should all be friends with my sister, because she is awesome.

Second: Here you go. (you're welcome)

I'd just opened my stocking and eaten all my candy. This is what happens when you give me sugar.

And after eating all that candy, I have a raging toothache, and a lame job with no dental plan. Jeepers. dental dilemma is not what this post is about.

It's not about Homo Headgear either. I know I promised hats, and there will probably be some hats in another post, but if you're here because of the hat wearing lesbians, you should probably stop reading... Right about...


Because I want to talk about something else.


*in no way is this an exhaustive list*


I find this simultanously fascinating and repellant.

1) They are both superheroes.



2) They both love turquoise.

3) They are both hoarders.
(they both deny this, and, like all hoarders, will be very very unhappy with me for pointing it out)

4) They rarely get sick themselves, and are generally unsympathetic towards sick people.

5) They're both big criers, or very in touch with their "girl cells". If you don't know what I mean by that, you should watch this TED talk:

Don't get me wrong. This in-touch-with-girl-cell capacity is a good thing. But it's something I still have to work on. And it does have the effect of making me raise my eyebrows, pat (poke) their shoulders with a tentative outstretched finger and make a confused, strangled "aauuuuhhhhggggg??...okeyy??" noise.

 I am evidently really good with other people's emotions.

6) They both sing loudly, frequently and publicly, and enjoy the embarrassment this causes me.

7) Actually, they both do almost everything loudly, frequently and publicly, and enjoy the embarrassment this causes me.

8) Neither of them ever stops moving, and they both get irritated when other people do.

9) Don't make them mad. JUST. DON'T. DO. IT.

10) They are two of the warmest, most tenaciously loyal and supportive individuals I know. And they're smart.

 (There. That makes up for points 1-9, right? Don'tbemadatmemomandlisa - you both told me to always be honest-)

Don't get me wrong, I adore my mother oodles. And I adore Lisa oodles. And in many important ways, they are NOT the same...

But does this mean that if straight girls end up mating with men who remind them of their fathers, un-straight girls end up with women who remind them of their mothers?

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