Wednesday, February 13, 2013

The Falafel Chronicles

I haven't posted in a good while because I have a new job.
The almost 30 hours a week I've been working really cuts into my blogging time...

I now work in a restaurant.

I chop things and clean things and bring people food. It's great (and I say this without even a hint of sarcasm).

This new job is a hugely positive change. The people are all lovely, no one expects me to work ridiculously long shifts, and everyone is positive and friendly. I have always enjoyed eating/feeding an inappropriate amount, and to be around large quantities of food is fun! I can even eat most of it without being poisoned! Hoorah!

It is humbling to be on the other side of the trainer/trainee equation once more. But it is also a good reminder for me not to settle for a job that is kind-of-sort-of okay, just because it is comfortable. My incredible fear of starting over on the bottom rung is proving unfounded. I am enjoying acquiring new skills and actually look forward to going to work (despite the fact that I still have to ask a bazillion questions each shift, and inevitably make at least a few mistakes...).

The other day while I was forming falafel at work, I had an idea. No one else thought it was a good idea. At first it was merely a zygotic notion, a passing "what if?". I probably would have let it die a natural death.

But because no one else thought it was a good idea, I had to prove them wrong.

Some of the kids I worked with in my last job had been labelled as having something called Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Basically they had to do the opposite of whatever you asked them to do (a fancy term for brattiness).

I think I might have it, too.

My amazing incredible idea was...


Falafel brownies. Apple cinnamon falafel. cranberry white chocolate falafel...
The creative potential is endless...

Think about it. 

Chickpeas are delicious.

Zucchini is delicious. 
Haha. Wet zucchini. How pervy.

Sugar is delicious. 

It's a no-brainer. 

I googled "dessert falafel" and IT. DOESN'T. YET. EXIST. 

Unlike all of my other "original ideas" this original idea is ACTUALLY an original idea.

So this week I lay awake at night again, but I wasn't worrying. I was planning.

Designing posters and ad campaigns and portable dessert falafel carts in my head.

Dessert falafel...revolutionizing meal conclusions worldwide!

It's a  miraculous high-protein dessert! It's a post gym snack! It's a convenient little pattie of superfood deliciousness!



My roommates said, "Oh, hmmm. that might be interesting. Let me know how that turns out" (note no pleas to sample my latest delicious creation when it comes out of the oven...their loss)

I told my mom on the phone. She said, "Okay, honey, that sounds like an idea" (note the absent positive adjective before 'idea').

Her tone said, "You are my favourite spawn, but you may be trying too hard to be creative and original. Some things don't exist because they are a bad idea...and I hope you only make a half recipe, because organic garbanzo beans aren't cheap".

Amazing how much she can say without actually saying anything.

I brought the idea up to Lisa on several occasions this week, and each time her reaction was along the lines of "That's a disgusting concept. I won't eat them. Why on earth would you ruin a perfectly good zucchini? Make a stir fry with the zuch, and then make me regular brownies, Wench. WITHOUT STEVIA." (stevia is amazing, FYI)

I probably would have forgotten about it, if my posse's reactions hadn't been so disgusted... They were turned off by the idea, so I had to prove that chickpea and zucchini patties not only can be made into delicious desserts, but should.

Cut to this morning, in our kitchen.

This happened.

It was beautiful.


They are moist, tender, spicy chocolate-dipped morsels of orgasmic goodness.

And not only because I can convince myself that anything healthy tastes good (Greens+ is delicious, I don't care what anyone says).

My roommates either actually think they are amazing, or are such good liars that they should immediately apply to law school.

They both begged for seconds. 

Lisa double-fisted them while gazing at me adoringly and offering to do the dishes and give me a massage afterwards.

I bet I could even persuade my sister to eat them. I will FedEx her some.



And I am convinced that with a few minor recipe tweaks, my apple-cinnamon dessert falafel will taste less like weirdly sweet hummus with cinnamon icing on top. 

Also, I couldn't figure out how to turn this dumb picture. An all-around fail.
You will have to turn your computer to view Lisa ignoring the plate of cinnamon apple falafel.
JUST WAIT, though. She won't be able to resist the next falafel incarnation. 

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