Sunday, October 28, 2012

My Sister's a Homo.

One of the most interesting parts about announcing that I was going to live with a woman was my family's reaction. This was pretty painless in general, since my family is open and amazing and mostly couldn't care less who I share a bed with, as long as they treat me well, have good personal hygiene, are reasonably articulate and can cook. The primary concern was that I would choose not to have babies if I'm with a woman. Once they were assured that babies were still a possibility (although they're probably not going to be oopsy-babies... unless there's a drunken incident with a turkey baster...) it was a "that's nice dear/ fill your boots" kind of reaction.

All homos should be so lucky.

I am particularly lucky to have a corny redneck/hippie hybrid for an older brother.

Calm yourselves, ladies...he's married!

And I am going to use my brother as blog-fodder. And I get to say whatever I want about him, because it's my blog, and because he got to torture me growing up, and now it's payback time.

When I sent my brother the link to my blog, he had three responses. What a supportive sibling.

Dylan has told me repeatedly over the past few years that my short highlighted hair made me look exactly like Kate Gosselin from the TLC show 'Jon and Kate plus Eight'. Why he is familiar with Kate Gosselin's hairstyles I'll put aside as material for another day's post. Anyways, my brother likes to insult my hairstyles. This is ironic because he doesn't have any. Hair or style.

His first text was feedback about the self-portrait I posted in an earlier blog entry.

Dylan's Response 1 (text): Your hair is no longer Kate plus 8. More like 'I ate Kate'.

My rebuttal 1: Thanks, D. That's sweet. Har har. I can see you giggling so hard in appreciation of your own wit that it probably took you half an hour to figure out how to work that phone to send a text. You are turning into our father.
Also, Kate Gosselin is kinda hot, if you squint a little. There, I said it. (plus, I'm sure she's gay-sexual. That's why she is so ragy... repressed homo tendencies)

Dylan's Response 2 (text): I'll paraphrase this one because it's long and sappy... something about deer blood, camo, extreme fishing and feeling proud as he reads his little sister's gay blog.

My response 2: What a gooey dork. (Apparently you're also turning into our mother)

Dylan's Response 3 (youtube link):

My response: Yay gay marriage! Also, see response 2...
(and I can't change...even if I wanted to...even if I tried... My love, my love, my love, she keeps me warm...she keeps me warm...she keeps me warm...lalalala, I'm having an empowered-sexuality moment)

But for serious, Go Macklemore.

I may have to ask the Temmel sisters for a bulk order of "My Sister's a HOmo" buttons. So Dylan can put them on all of his hunting gear.

1 comment:

  1. I'm putting my special order in now for summa those buttons too. I can put them all over my alberta-influenced life. Notice how its just me commenting because I also don't have a job, am instead sifting through thoughts and have LOTS of time to fill my boots with beautiful things like THIS!