Friday, November 2, 2012

Homo Birth Control Part II

I changed my mind. I may have destroyed some of the mystery earlier this week but by this time next week it's going to be Lisa sleeping in the spare room. Change is brewing in this household, and it's not going to be pretty...

While I grow out my winter pelt in less obvious ways
Lisa is cultivating her own brand of furriness...

For those of you unfamiliar with Lisa's hair cut, here is a sample of the original finished product, circa 2010. It is called a queue. And yes, dad, before you ask, that missing front part happened on purpose.
pretty cool, huh?

Lisa insists that if I'm going to blog about her hair, I have to at least explain it. So I found an online definition. It's boring and you don't have to read it. You can just look at the picture. 
This is Lisa just after we met. Hair is still bad-ass, right?
(Also, I crafted her some nice lime green shorts with Microsoft Paint,
 keepin' it PG)

She looks like a Warrior Lesbian in these photos, yes?
(and like she could kick my butt...which is accurate)

But now Lisa has made the decision that after two years she is ready to ditch her queue and grow her front-hairs out. 

I give Lisa kudos; the queue was a pretty ballsy (or ovariesy) hairstyle to go for. First she committed to growing her hair out for two years, and then she made the decision to shave half of it completely off (and not a side half like all the other cool kids...) 

Unfortunately for her, now that she has decided to move on, there is no graceful way to transition from this hairstyle. Particularly if you are stubbornly holding onto the long back half (as Lisa is). 

The way I see it, she has two options. She could shave the back half off so the front and back once again become one. Or, she can wait for the front half to grow to bang length, and live with an epic mullet for several months in the process.

It seems she has chosen the latter. 

This will be Lisa eating soup for Christmas dinner. I'm not sure what the spoon is for, but suspect it is a side effect of the mullet.
This is how I project Lisa will look in two months. Just in time for our Christmas cards. Stay posted, and if you'd like to be added to our Christmas mailing list to see the lesbian mulletude for yourself, send me your address! 

Next housewife project: design and create a selection of hats for Lisa's birthday and Christmas. 


  1. Miranda, I love your blogging. It is a mixture of awesome, hilarious, experiential, and imaginative. Keep 'em comin'!

  2. I love the blog, Miranda! Please keep writing, I just read the whole thing!