Thursday, November 8, 2012

Real Homo Housewives of St. John's

I've been writing a lot lately about my new role as one of those stay-at-home housewives. This is a role I've assumed mostly by default, since I don't have a job yet, don't have a vehicle and don't really know anyone here yet. I have been chugging along doing the mundane stuff ... changing sheets, folding laundry, doing the dishes,  planning my runs along grocery store routes. Terribly unsophisticated, but to be honest I mostly haven't given it much thought. It's pretty low pressure, and that's just the way life currently looks for me on the rock.

And then it was my birthday. Which was awesome in all kinds of ways. I got lots of presents (which isn't ALL of what birthdays are about, but it's what most of it's about for me. The other part is cake, and I got that too). My roommate bought me an apron.

In my previous existence, no one would have thought of buying me an apron for my birthday. I would have been offended. But now, it seemed a natural and highly appropriate gift.

And it got me thinking: I would never have been content staying home and taking care of domestic concerns when I was with a man, so why am I okay with assuming that role now that I'm with a woman?

That kind of personal inconsistency doesn't sit easily with me.

Now, partly I accept my housewench position because I know it is temporary. I will eventually find gainful employment, and probably my blog posts will become less frequent and include anecdotes that involve more than two people and a cat.

For now though, Lisa goes to work, and I keep the home fires burning. And then she comes home and plays some excellent musical selections. This one is on the regular rotation:

Mostly I think the biggest difference between then (man-type-significant-other) and now (woman-type-significant-other) is that there is an inherent feeling of equality. Initially, I thought this equality came from being in a same-sex relationship.

Digging deeper though, I don't actually think my contentment has anything to do with the man vs. woman partner thing. It's about being seen, and being appreciated. I realize I am okay with assuming the role of domestic goddess because my partner values my home work. She is wonderful at seeing and applauding my culinary/scouring/folding/organizational efforts, and because of this, I feel I am contributing in a meaningful way.

And when she's home, it's not automatically my responsibility to do the dishes. Or cook. Or clean. We do it together, or we take turns. That's how it should be, folks.
BEcause Super-Lesbians share dish duty.
And everybody wins, since as long as I'm unemployed, our freezer will continue to be full of soup and muffins.

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